North Bank Habitat – January 1, 2022

Hike coordinator: Brad Bishop

Narration by Brad Bishop

Imagine a hiking world, a world where the downhill stretches are making you breath hard. A world where you are praying to mush through muddy cattle tracks. A world where a practical joker running down the trail and yelling STOP! STOP! makes you automatically think someone has had a heart attack or broken a leg. Yes, you have entered the ‘Worst Hike Ever’ zone.

What started as a Christmas replacement hike with a tongue in cheek about being the worst hike ever, turned into an epic journey into the frozen, wild, wilderness of the North Bank Habitat. 

I knew this hike would not be pretty. I figured the total uphill of Power Line Trail to the beginning of the Muddy East Boundary Trail would be enough to keep most ‘Sane’ hikers from starting their New Year off on the wrong foot. (get it?) But imagine to my surprise 14 crazy people wanted to spend the day after New Year’s Eve starting resolutions that may soon be afterthoughts. 

The mood was jovial as we met to head to our destination. The forecast was no precipitation, and a chance of sunshine. As we headed towards our destination most of us were taken aback by the site of a white snow-covered monolith in the distance. Surely our hike was at a much lower altitude and besides the sun was shining on some of the peaks already. As we pulled into the parking lot there was much gusto about hitting the trail.

Starting up the Power Line, everyone was determined to have a great New Year’s Day as the sun was going to be warming us, the trail was icy but welcoming. After about a mile of steady climbing we started to get into some deeper snow, but the cattle had their muddy paths that most of us figured were better than the shallow post holes we were slogging through. Everyone seemed to be up to the challenge ahead as we climbed ever higher.

The views challenged the most picturesque scenes of the Alps, and with the sunshine many hikers were discarding layers as we continued our ascent. We were almost done with the worst part of the hike, or so I thought.

As we got to the junction of Power Line, Soggy Bottom and Blacktail, everyone decided to push upward to the East Boundary Trail. As we were at the ridge, I noticed most hikers were putting layers back on.

As we started our trek to the weather station, I realized we wouldn’t have the help of the beef anymore. As we started out on the East Boundary a deer was spotted as we were resting. It looked at us as if ‘WTF’ are you humans doing here. It bounded off nonchalantly. I hate deer. They make travel through wilderness look like a joyful outing in a park.

At this time, I was concerned as I had heard rumors of a mutiny because of deep snow. I took a poll of the hikers and all said to push on as we have gone too far to head back even though I did hear disparaging remarks about the hike leader.

As we pushed forward, we were post holing to our knees. I tried to rally confidence of our plight by singing ditties, but it just seemed to irritate my companions. Around this time, one of the hikers spotted a bald eagle laughing at us and it seemed to energize some of the downtrodden.

We continued with no other options. Everyone knew there was only one way out. Continue down the snow-covered trail. It was slow going. A few hundred yards to rest and blow your nose and continue on.

Finally, we saw signs of civilization (the parking lot). We all made it, even though a 7.5-mile hike took 5 HOURS.  Some were not in a celebratory mood. We had some award-winning chowder and kitsch, laughed and vented, and chalked it up to “don’t doubt Brad when he says ‘Worst Hike Ever’”.

For the first hike of the year, remember: ‘The Outlaws of the Umpqua’ say, ‘Make the First the Worst’.

More pictures on Richard O’Neill’s Flickr page and Lane Harris’ Flickr page

Pictures below by Richard O’Neill and Lane Harris

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